Though I’m often accused of being a “grandpa” driver, I do occasionally get speeding tickets. I’m about 80% on verbally escaping them, which I’m pretty happy about. A while back (on my birthday) I received a speeding ticket while driving through the crappy little town of Mesquite Nevada. A day I will forever regret. First off, there was no talking myself out of it. The officer fully intended on giving me a ticket the moment he hit his lights. Even the ‘hey, it’s my birthday’ line gave me no leverage. I was “signing here”.

After he drove off I stuck the ticket in my glove box and honestly forgot about it. To the point that when I realized it, it was officially late. I knew my $77 dollar ticket sadly would have charges ensue. I could deal with it (Not really). I just needed to know how much.

I started be calling their court house, it turns out they aren’t overly staffed and I went to an answering machine. I left a detailed message and waited for my return call.

That never happened.

Okay, they are busy… let’s try again.

No return call.

A few more attempts and I finally reached an older woman who seemed put out to my call. I explained what happened and asked what the charges were. She told me there would be a $300 fine for late payment.

Wow… turns out that’s where all the money it (but it’s not going to their phone services).

I asked if I could get a break since I was trying to pay it for so long, she said the only way would be to contact the Judge. She gave me his email and phone.

Unreturned phone messages and emails littered my lunch hours.

After giving up I decided to just pay the full amount. I needed to know the exact amount again, and where to pay it.

Since that first phone contact with the woman I will refer to as “Ms. Happypants” I’ve left 9 messages pleading for a return call. By pleading I mean BEGGING. Detailed messages filled with “please” and nothing. But I guess if no one is there to answer the phone, who’d be there to return messages.

So with this, I give you warning… if you EVER drive through the crappy little town of Mesquite Nevada… drive slow… VERY slow.

And no.. as of now I have not heard from them… nor have been able to pay the ticket