August 26, 2011
Do you ever grow up? I don’t think so. But we’re forced to try and by who? By the toy makers! They put their crappy little restrictions on their boxes claiming they are for ages 3 to 11. Well what if we want to keep playing with them? Are we to be laughed at by society? Well I feel you should be able to play with toys forever. You still love them and many never left your hearts. If fact some of you may still own these toys as they sit in your office drawer or on a shelf at home. If you do, I salute you. Here is my list of the 10 greatest toys you wish you still owned today.
10. Anything Nerf – Being given a license to cause destruction and mayhem to young children is like giving crack to Amy Winehouse. Shooting your friends, playing ball in the house. It was a laundry list of things you could do that normally would get you grounded in a NON-NERF world. But today we still need those releases. If your job had a 30 minute ‘nerf break’, we feel productivity would go through the roof.
9. EZ Bake Oven – Cooking is fun, or maybe not. But cooking on your bedroom floor? It can make a crappy, over-cooked brownie go from a 3 to a 7. Don’t forget the easy clean up by pushing it under your bed.
8. Mr. Potato Head – You kept yours until it was reduced to one arm, two sets of eyes and a pair of lips. If you had one today you’d add another 30 minute to your morning routine, making sure your potato looked just right for his day.
7. Hungry, Hungry Hippos – What other game took no skill other than repeatedly hitting it. Sometimes you don’t want to think during a board game, you just want to beat the ass of a mammal.
6. Big Wheel – With the economy as it is and gas prices being so unpredictable, we feel that adult size versions of these would fly out of the showroom. We’d be first in line.
5. Silly Putty – World’s first stress reliever and as well as the introduction to cut-n-paste.
4. Sit & Spin – Again, we feel an adult size version of this toy could end crime, hate, and even war. As well as increase sales of barf bags and carpet cleaners.
3. Legos – Hours of fun combined with hours of clean up. There was no better time waster in the world. We love you legos.
2. Stretch Armstrong – He stretches, is there a better toy?
1. Evel Knievel Stunt Bike – The greatest toy ever constructed. You weren’t a child if you didn’t have this sitting on your dresser. After a summer of racing it down your street he was as gritty as the man himself. We still don’t know why the racing of this toy never became an Olympic event, but we know that Timmy Lawler of West Covina, California would have taken the gold. We salute you Timmy!
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