My Oldest Memory

Time isn’t good to memories. Degradation combined with imagination create images in my head which I no longer know if what exists in my brain anymore from my toddler years is even real.  I have a vivid memory as a child of seeing a UFO at a drive in movie theater.

Yup, I’m sure that’s real.

I remember a man coming in our house and eating all our butter. Then my Dad escorting him out.

Sounds like a real memory to me.

I remember sheep cakes being cut open and blood pouring out.

Oh yeah, that too.

But wait… this one can actually be documented.

The memory goes like this. It was my younger brothers’ birthday. Keith and Kevin who are twins. They were having a party with chunk of family. They had cakes in the shape of sheep. When they were cut open, the color red was everywhere.

I feel like I should be telling this story to Hannibal Lecter.

Anyhow, we ate sheep and celebrated another year of little brothers. I filed that away with all my other skewed memories until I found this picture.

There it was, the party. There they were, the cakes. There I was, confused. I asked my mother about the cakes and she explained she ordered sheep cakes with raspberry filling.

Uber red cake. Blood red.

There it was, an actually documented memory. I was 2 years, 2 months old. Probably sitting in my own crap and upset my brothers were getting all the attention.

No aliens came and stole all our butter. I’m still looking for those pics. Stand by.