Many businesses fail in their first few years of operation. Why is it? Could it be location, marketing, product? What if it just came down to its name? Did you go the correct route in picking those letters that best represent what you do? Did you play the alphabet game where you start a business with an ‘A’ so you’re first to be seen in the phone book? These people decided to come up with some names even more fitting, either that or they just pulled names out of a hat. Here are the top 10 funniest business names.
10. STD Wines & Liquors – From what we learned in college, STDs usually happen AFTER drinking. If you look hard enough you’ll see this is located on Church Ave. Those dirty, drunk Christians!
9. Pussy Cleaners – Daughter: “Hey Mom, sometimes I just don’t feel so fresh. What do you do?” Mother: “One hour martinizing my vagina dear!” I’d never trust a cleaners with my genitalia, plus I’d be afraid I’d lose the ticket.
8. Stiff Nipples Air Conditioning – This is a company that realizes JUST how cold your A/C should be. If you need someone even better call MASSIVE DICK SHRINKAGE REPAIR.
7. Rapex Contraction – Most contractors stick it to you with the bill, these guys get you in the estimate, twice. They are so dedicated you can see them practicing the rapage on each other.
6. Kidsexchange – So you really wanted a boy? That okay, they have a huge selection of kids private parts which can have little Annie singing bass before you know it.
5. Fuk Mi Sushi – Their food is so good you’ll say their name over and over. We’re actually a little shocked that a Planning and Zoning commission would let this get by. Apparently they have even a better sense of humor than we do.
4. The Dirty Hoe – Ever wonder where your exgirlfriend is working? Now you know. The Dirty Hoe has everything you need for a nice garden, and herpes.
3. Sherrill’s Eat Here and Get Gas – No hidden disclaimers, these guy let you know up front that their food really isn’t going to agree with you. Bill and Ann, though excellent owners, don’t really cook for those with the sensitive stomachs.
2. The Master – Baiter Bait and Tackle – Being a fisherman and a ladies man don’t usually go hand in hand, it usually goes penis in hand. When you’re spending that much time alone you are going to have to take the time to take care of yourself. The Masterbaiter has everything you need for that time you’re grabbing your grouper.
1. Big Dick’s Halfway INN Resort – This is a very optimistic resort, an pessimistic resort would have been called the Halfway OUT Resort. Are you just as curious as us what a minnow shot is?